what if the time stops ticking at 7:02 PM
I feel like a complete nuisance. To my family. To my friends. Especially my mother. I’ve reached the stage of life where I think life is not worth living. Nothing keeps me going in life anymore. Okay, maybe my loved ones. If it wasn’t for them, I swear I’d give up on myself. How immature of me you might think. The reason behind all these shit? School.
I get worried over the slightest things easily. You know how sometimes planes would fly by or something, and it seems like those war shows where they release bombs and stuff? When I listen to the sound of airplanes flying by, I keep chanting in my head, “Bomb me, bomb me, let me die” or something like that. Or when I sleep, I wish I’d not wake up. But immediately after thoughts of death, I think of the people I love. And I’d tell myself to keep going.
This cycle happens over and over again. Like now, I manage to pick myself back up from melancholy, after awhile, I’d just sink right back into depression. Dammit. I hate myself for being so weak. I hate it.
I’ve got loads to say. But I suddenly haven’t got the mood to write. I feel like dying. I haven't got the will to live. End.
