what if the time stops ticking at 10:47 PM
two days of no computer. HA! (: i think i'm getting better and better at this whole not-using-the-computer thing. i've been busy busy BUSY. busy with what? school work of course. everyday its study study study and more studying. getting a bit sick of it, but ahh! endure? ):
anyway, i dont think i've mentioned my pet hamster before right? (: got it about a month ago. haa. introducing ... *drums rolls*
.jpg)
.0.jpg)
ta-da! he's adorable isnt he? haha. pity he's a scaredy-cat. afraid of anything, runs like speedy-gonzalez? -slaps forehead- VERY picky with his food and has a big jiggly butt (:
what if the time stops ticking at 8:58 PM
somebody kill me already?
what if the time stops ticking at 9:20 PM
ka-boom! the volcano erupted today. remember i once said that if i accumulate the lousy LOUSY feelings for too long, it'll erupt one day and the tears will fall? (or something like that)
the whole day, i was pretty much in the doldrums. dint feel like talking much at all. face, black like the sky now. i wanted to run home and cover my head with the pillow (not exactly run la). lessons were draggy like anything.
* striked out because un-important
i went back into the workshop. and sat there, watching anna & mh fiddle with her artefact. the tears were then filling up. i walked out of the room. about a metre away from the workshop, i let it all out. i tried containing it within me, but i guess i failed. or, maybe i had alrdy seen this coming my way?
i think what really triggered them was, negligence. my previous msn nick was: have you ever been alone in a crowded room? i picture myself in this really HUGE room, lost. so big, i cant even see the other end. packed with tens, hundreds, thousands of people i know. unable to reach out to them. i speak, but nobody hears me. everyone walks, bumping into me. there's like a barrier surrounding me.
certain people are curious as to how come i got all teary and red in the eyes/nose. dnt, was what i told one of my friend. but that was a trigger, as i said earlier. the main reason? lots. which i do not wish to elaborate on.
enough said. i've got work to complete and it's 915pm alrdy. i've scrapped through the long day today, but tomorrow is a longer day. lame'ol CLB lessons. pffft.
what if the time stops ticking at 6:25 PM
who on earth wakes up at 530 in the morning to prepare herself for school on a sweet SWEET sunday? apparently, i am the one. weather so beautiful, breeze so chilly. eyesbags that weigh a tonne, lids that refuse to open up. body so lethargic. anyhow, i dragged myself out of bed, showered, dressed myself, tied my hair, grabbed my bag and carried on dragging my feet to the bus stop. the sky was midnight blue, the birds were chirping. i sat down and waited for the bus, with eyes fixed on me. i bet in their minds, these were their thoughts "why is this school girl in her uniform on a sunday morning? did she get her days wrongly? is she insane? blah blah blah" not that im psychic or anything (:
along the way i met up with anna and together we walked to the main gate. there, stood peiqi & ms leong, a stationary bus & a car. waited for nearly an hour until the whole journey begun. boo the stinking people who think they're grand lords. would have gotten up an hour later if i had known there'll be this LONG delay.
it was numbing cold in the bus? with raindrops split splattering all over the place. the goosebumps and hair all erect. BRR! i fell asleep in the bus. and woke up, only to realise the 'attitude' bus-driver has driven us to the wrong place. supposedly Singapore Swimming Complex. he, on the otherhand, drove us to Katong Swimming Complex. rofl? ._."
my job there, was to give out goodie bags & balloons, the better job. HA! it was a function for the less fortunate. the little kids were very very VERY poor thing. they had tubes in their noses, or they're all bloated up. cancer? kidney failure? etc etc. sigh. (yes mom & dad, i know how lucky i am)
after the whole CIP (Community Involvement Programme), we got to feast with a table of tai-tais. WOW! hahaha. my very first time seeing a genuine tai-tai. two of them were friendly. the rest, were just plain SNOBS, sticking their noses up high in the air. haha. i now know what my ambition is (: to be a tai-tai hahaha. who wants to join me? we could go for high tea, spas, facial, shopping, mahjong, prada/gucci/etc. fashion shows, events and many many more? ahh. the life of luxury.
-lets out a sigh-
and
-snaps back to reality-
hur. let me just focus on scoring my As now, so some rich man will take notice of me, fall in love with me, get married with me AND my tai-tai dream will then be fulfilled. LOL. end.
what if the time stops ticking at 5:05 PM
so i came across a friend's blog, which has this VooDoo link. you get to 'name' that voodoo. prick it with pins and needles, burn it with a flaming candle, pinch it with a pair of pliers. hahaha. if you have someone you TOTALLY abhor, this is the website for you.
http://www.instantvoodoo.com/default.asp?flash=true
i clicked that link, thinking. time to vent all my hate on No. 1 Most Hated Person on my list. but. i thought. and i thought. WHO?! in order to start torturing that ideal 'someone', you had to choose that person's identity. a friend? ex-boyfriend/girlfriend? husband? wife? so on, so forth but i just couldn't think of anyone to put la.
anyway anyway ANYWAY, check this out:
http://artpad.art.com/?j1cww614wev8
my very own masterpiece. ENJOY! (:
what if the time stops ticking at 9:23 PM
crowd: woohooooo!
presenter: yes! this is it people! a big round of applause for the one and only RACHEL! she is BACK. back by popular demands!
crowd: -screams and cheers and
- -- -- - --- -- -- - --- --
goodbye hiatus, HELLO blog! (:
it has been exactly 7 days since i last blogged. hurhur. in the past, i could type and type and type all sorts of nonsense and all. now, i dont exactly know what to blog on. maybe because my daily life is a routine. every day, its the same old boring stuff. sheesh.
a friend once asked me what is life? that i'd love to know very much too. i think. maybe life is a hassle. so much pain. so much misery. so much misfortunes. or is it because we allow ourselves to fall in that category. OMG. no! i'm not going to be all emo and melancholic. so forget i even said that. but hey! let me in on the meaning if, you do know. HUR!
ahh. last three, four days to the reopening of school. but. wait. it's as if today's the first day of school. YAWNS! extra lessons, extra lessons and MORE extra lessons. tmr's the last day. is that a yay? or. no. makes no different actually. -slaps forehead- (HA! have not done forehead slapping in long LONG time man.)
the past few days i've been doing lots and LOTS of math. this is what i call a sense of satisfaction/achievement. someone, give me a pat on the back please. -BIG GRINS- i had like almost two days of NO computer. surprisingly i survived. today, i come here, to take a breather. hahaha. or i'll die of overdosage of numerical figures and formulae accumulating in my puny little (NO! it's not puny. it's not little. just a figure of speech. heh!) brain. ladida. anyway. off i go. to shower and do my work. FAREWELL my proud fans (:
what if the time stops ticking at 11:26 PM
was too tired to update the day before. was out from dawn to dusk, out in the sun on all the thrill rides. hahaha. all the spinning and twirling and flying made me nauseous. ugh! but it was fun fun FUN (: heh!
so, anyway. stayed home today. did chores, as usual, watched tv, as usual, made lunch & dinner for my brother and i, AND i did my homework, unusually? hur! :D
ah, boring boring.
on hiatus until further notice!
what if the time stops ticking at 8:57 PM
i have the FEEL now. yes. the (gasp!) studying mood. HA! (:
so dont bother me and let me bond with the STACK of notes/worksheets/exam papers i brought back from kylie's house. oh. and start on my 11 social studies structured essay questions and math tys and three physics worksheet and eh, anything else? O.o
alrighty then. i'm off to be nerdy 'ol rachel! (:
(i think you all can go buy 4-D or TOTO later, heh!)
what if the time stops ticking at 9:28 PM
beer, groundnuts, men. goooooooaal!! yeap! it's the soccer season alright (: three men in the house watching soccer. haha. it's pretty funny. how they get so excited. thought of joining them. but, nah. i'll stick to the computer. yup! i'll do just that.
SHORT entry huh?
that's all for today.
what if the time stops ticking at 11:34 PM
a friend asked me during the dnt 'intensive' week how come i'm so happy and all. cos of the laughing and smiling and jumping around and disturbing. well, all i can say is, "that bloody scares me!"
it's like early symptoms of a breakdown. a very bad habit of mine that wont change, is me keeping everything to myself. it accumulates bit by bit. then one day, like a volcano, it erupts.
truth is, friend, i think i'm not happy. maybe it's my way of hiding away from the ugly truth. just maybe. maybe this way it makes me feel better. some people say, talk about it, it'll make you feel better. i think that's bullshit.
is this not suppose to be an online diary? isnt a diary something we 'pen' our thoughts and feelings and troubles and emotions and questions and doubts and whatnots down? which leads me to something another friend once said to me, "if you want to type out all your secrets why create a public blog? just create a private one la." or SOMETHING lydat la.
good suggestion. but it's no different from talking to the wall? but then again, it's not like anybody responds to my entries every single day.
HOLD IT.
what nonsense am i ranting here? everything here doesnt link at all. does it? O.o you know what? i think i'll not type anymore. full-stop.
what if the time stops ticking at 10:37 PM
yay for new mouse. yay for not going to school today. yay for uhh....nothing else..yay! woke up around 830 this morning. den i called huimin but i guess she dint feel the vibration. anyway, she did call back ltr. then i chatted with her, aloy & wilson for nearly an hour. quite fun la. hahaha (:
dont you find me plain stupid? i have thousand over dollars in my edusave account, MORE than enough for me to go overseas (the humanities trip to thailand) yet the thought of going dint even come across my mind AT ALL. oh well ): free trip leh.
_______
my condition has worsened. boohoo.
i have a terrible cold.
and a terrible TERRIBLE cough.
i slept ALOT today. lots of afternoon naps. ahhh (: that's what i call enjoying life. but. awful feeling. weak? ayee. i'll be okay in a few days time. goooodnight to you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you. =x
what if the time stops ticking at 8:19 PM
who HATES mosquitoes say I !! they sting and sting and STING me as if there's no tomorrow. i swear i'll kill them with my two hands if i have a chance. i dint know the dnt workshop breeds mosquitoes as pets. -starts spraying insect repellent all over the place-
today at the dnt workshop i was quite annoyed with the instructors. you ask them to do something and they (either) pretend NOT to hear your pleas or they're DEAF. [BRING ME A LOUD-HAILER SOMEBODY!] and when you finally get their attention, they fiddle with your workpiece for a few minutes and run off somewhere to help other pupils. then when you ask him to cut a SIMPLE piece of wood for you, he walks into the workshop and start helping OTHER people cut materials. DAMN YOU! they nag non-stop saying how s-l-o-w i am, and how much time i waste. but look who's wasting my time now. you dont give someone hope (hope here refers to 'finally responding to my never-ending pleas') only to dash (dash here refers to 'suddenly walking away or abandoning me halfway') them.
anyway. after a two-week-long wait. my copper pipe is delivered. so sawed off the required length, and got aloy to help me bend the bar. and Hercules here broke the METAL BAR. ohmytian? muscle man. so its gone la. and i probably have to wait for another two weeks for the new pipe to be delivered. sigh. and there i was thinking i could finish my work by tomorrow. i guess the saying "the higher you climb, the harder you fall" makes PERFECT sense now.
my nose is bur-locked. and my chest hurts like crazy. i need a doctor.
____________________
BON VOYAGE TO THOSE GOING TO THAILAND TOMORROW! DONT FORGET THE GIFTS! xD
what if the time stops ticking at 10:03 PM
[ring riiing]
-answers phone call-
caller: congratulations! you're one of the 20 lucky winners to win this exclusive prize! it consist of three prizes. the first one is a $150 voucher for a designer watch. the second one is a $150 for some massage. and third prize is a 9days 8nights stay at thailand.
i was like WHAT THE HELL! hahahaha. surely you'll be shocked-and-happy when someone tells you you've won a prize right? but. smth wasnt quuuiitee right. so...
me: eh. did you get the wrong caller?
caller: why do you say so? (her voice sounded very you-have-just-won-a-prize-for-goodness-sake-why-arent-you-happy-at-all?)
me: uhh. may i know who you're looking for?
caller: er..miss tan. you are miss tan right?
me: urmm. sorry. but i think you've got the wrong person.
caller: oh. sorry.
damn! there goes the two $150 vouchers and the stinking trip to thailand. pffft! hahaha. but oh well. what if i go down to collect the prizes and they ask for my i/c. anyhow, i'm an honest person. -big innocent smile, bearing all my teeth-
- -- - --- - - - -- -
ALAS! i have tasted the well-known, the almighty, the magnificent, the incredibly smelly toufu AKA chou toufu. AHH! hahahaha. years back, i went to hongkong ONLY because i wanted to have a taste of that..that..THING! but i dint get to. and and AND today, right here on this tiny little red dot, i had a taste of it! guuuulpp...
sheri, huimin and peiqi dint wanna try it with me, so i called my brother up and asked if he'd like to try and he said, "why not?" so i da bao-ed it home. the mrt and bus reeked of fermented beancurd. HAHA. very embarrassing la. -slaps forehead- at first the smell wasnt that...strong. but gradually, it got pungent? or choking? O.O hur! anyway after eating it my mouth smelt like lao sai. (no kidding) HA! my brother and i kept blowing 'bad air' in my mom's face. xDD weeeehoo!
i've got a wheezy chest now. let's view the possible reasons as to how come:
1. Because in the DNT workshop i breathe in nothing but dust particles, metal particles & acrylic particles.
2. Because just RIGHT outside the workshop i breathe in nothing but teeny-weeny little paint particles.
3. Because a few metres away from the spray painting area i breathe in nothing but lacquer 'particles'.
4. Because at home my neighbour is renovating the house and i breathe in nothing but all the fine particles of whatnots.
5. Because of the really BAD air i breathe in nothing but haze particles.
yup! (: listed down all the possible reasons. maybe i'll get lung cancer/nose cancer/
what if the time stops ticking at 9:18 PM
ugh.. i dont feel too good. woke up this morning feeling achy all over and head-heavy. you know the feeling when you're about to fall sick? like anything that touches your skin hurts. even running water. cold running water. then the weakness. as if you've got no energy to do anything at all. and now. an additional headache. blinking away in my head.
-whacks head-
the same old stuff again today. spent like so much of my money on four stinking cans of spray paint. i see a hole in my pocket alrdy. boohoo. as always, mr tan & mr ho will nag nag nag nag nag at me for spray painting it. wasting time, wasting money. that's what they'll say. hur. i doubt i can finish it by this week. cos the stinking copper bar hasnt arrived. darn. i'll use the hack-saw and saw off the supplier's head then buff it with wax until it shines if he doesnt deliver it SOON. argh.
ahh. im so restless/tired/lethargic/blah/blah/blah. i'll stop here. yawns.
what if the time stops ticking at 6:47 PM
scene one, take one, ACTION!
as i laid in bed last night, i tried hard to close my eyes and fall deep into sleep. but no. i couldnt. so i tossed. and i turned. then. at the corner of my eye, i caught a glimpse of something which seemed somewhat familiar. the ceiling light. yes, the ceiling light. the one i always turn to in times of distress. the one i literally talk to when i dont know who i can turn to. the one i always voice my whys and hows to. but this time. i turned to my side and hugged my pillow tighter. i dint wanna talk to anyone. or anything. thoughts run run running in my head; it's my fault. is it?
(you can skip this whole BORING part if you want to)
i only managed to fall into snooze mode at 2 something in the morning. and damn? i had to wake up at 645am today. i jumped out of bed when my mom woke me up. and quickly went to take my shower and prepared myself for school. i was suppose to meet sheri at 745 but she called at 730 and told me she wasnt going anymore. anna called and asked if i wanna meet them at the interchange and i did. we reached there and started on our dnt artefact. i was with huimin, peiqi, jaime and aloy. and we went off at 330. by the time i reached home it was 445pm. and blah blah blah.
anyway. i emailed a friend last night. cos i was feeling really terrible la. i came home, checked my email and smiled. haha. i'm a happy girl now. eh. what's that idiom ar? anybody know? smth like there's a sun after a storm? O.o or issit a rainbow after a rain. or issit sunshine after rain? or what the hell is it. -slaps forehead- you DO know what i'm talking about. right? =x hur!
Highlights Of The Week
three-fifth doing dnt. other two-fifth watching tv, using the computer, running with my friends, HOPEFULLY studying :D and eating, and sleeping, and the other normal stuff....
what if the time stops ticking at 10:38 PM
i came back pretty late last night, which explains why i did not update yesterday.
YESTERDAY;
the dumb 20th Anniversary dinner. which totally sucked big time. firstly, the weather was AWFULLY hot. spoilt almost evrything. perspired like nobody's business. and i'm one person that absoultely CANNOT stand heat. makes me uncomfortable, irritated, blah blah. the whole event was wedding-dinner-cum-getai-cum-disco-cum-malay-wedding-cum-funeral. yeap. poor POOR taste i must say. pity i cant show you wl's frightening consumption of prawns. cant seem to upload it at the moment. maybe tmr.
the dinner ended quite late. we had much trouble deciding where to go and my day ended off sourly. i was chatting here and there with anna & miaohui, jaime & liling, huimin & peiqi. initially sheri went off with the othr grp. then came back. then, the whole nasty thing started. my day was ruined so i decided to go where i wanted to most. home. took a slow, long walk to the bus stop and waited eons for the bus to arrive. i reached home past midnight. showered. and stoned in front of the telly.
TODAY;
went out with kyl & sher. it was fun (: sorta put my mind off certain matters. shopped around. took pictures. had great conversations. freeeeezing cold jokes. yup. anyway. i'll end here for today. i'm in a lousy mood. oh well.
__________________
i rather you finish me off with one blow,
than slowly torture me bit by bit.
what if the time stops ticking at 8:05 PM
hello HELLO (:
save me from my misery people. i'm DYING from boredom. yes, you heard me. SAVE ME for the sake of humanity! ha! woooohoo. i slept early last night. and i woke up early too. the eye bags are gone. but not the dark circles. darn it. someone tell me how i can REMOVE this ugly ugly eye-sore.
weird aint i? i complain when i go out. blabbering how LAZY i am. but staying at home, makes not much of a diff at all. =/ anyway, i vacuumed and mopped the floor. felt good (: somehow?
just had my dinner. mom's 'ba cor mee' DAMN GOOD i tell you. DAMN GOOD! heh! (: i give it two thumbs up and..two toes up? mmmm. ladida.
nice? nice? is it nice? shrieks (: so i'm stuck between getting this or w810i. man! but this phone's not even released yet. and i dont think i can live with my oh-so-wonderful phone with ORANGE light. and oh-so-well-mannered. when you turn on the phone, they ask "are you sure you want to turn it on?" when you start a new message, they ask "Star New SMS?" -slaps forehead-
i was in a not-too-bad mood. when my aunt came. (to visit my brother & his leg) so she suddenly came in and said "rachel are you studying?" [eyebrow narrows] see what i mean? their mentality. NEVER CHANGES. NEVER! to them a student's life must ONLY revolve around s-t-u-d-y-i-n-g. i'll stop here. pffft.
what if the time stops ticking at 9:05 PM
a whole hour's worth of time wasted on physics practical. doing what? trying helplessly, to balance a metre rule with weights, and a beaker of water. HAR HAR. when that hour could have been spent on something much much more meaningful. or i could have continued my dream! my way around the house tomorrow. yay! haha. pfffft.
anyway, that's the last of it. for this week. sigh. the whole of next week will be dedicated to my dnt artefact, which i failed to complete during that one extra week i had. dang. i'll probably laze
boo. i wanna watch tv. i wanna watch tv. i wanna watch tv! (starts whining like a spoilt brat) but my brother has been hogging on to the tv playing his games. boo. btw, you people know where's the tagboard located right? i'm afraid i've placed it in a not-so-obvious place. o.O hurhur.
-- - - - -- - - - - --- -
i smile and i laugh.
i'm overcomed with grief.
it aches, inside-out.
i hide away the pain and agony.
i lied when i told you i was happy.
nobody realises the melancholy i'm engulfed in.
the gloom and emptiness trapped within me.
worn out. tired. this has to stop.
how? may i ask.
this maze i'm in. i have to get out.
set me free. let me go.
i'm losing my mind.
_____________
i just typed all those down, without really thinking. sheesh. fact is. these few days, i dont really feel like talking to anyone. dont feel like going anywhere. maybe i just want to be left alone, for a bit. hide in the shell of mine. and seclude myself from anything else. yeah, that is what i want. but it's almost impossible..
