what if the time stops ticking at 9:25 PM
BOOHOO. i miss my previous email addy. i miss it so SO much. )):
i just created a new one. raachh__@hotmail.com copy and paste to add. in case you miss out a thing or two. ladida.
today;
anyway, it's the last day of my guides today. wow. i mean like after four whole years plus another 3 months. this is it. the end. sure there's this reluctant feeling. but. what the heck. ((: i dont have to stay back on fridays anymore. three cheers for THAT.
hip hip HOORAY! x 3
heh. so its the same old routine. we sit around. walk around. chat loads. then there's the disturbing-almost-everyone-i-see thing. which keeps me bored-free. hur. try it. (NOT ON ME thou) we watched the parade today. compared to last time, a BIG improvement i must say. sort of miss those days. its been a long LONG while since i last had footdrills. tiring thou. haha. oh oh! i finally managed to wear my limegreen tee. haha. BRIGHT. and very outstanding. i can stand in the middle of the road. and no car will bang me down. O.O
school was deja vu. EVERY day its the same old thing. so i shant rant on about how i put toothpicks in between to keep my eyes open. (oh! that i dint mention? heh.)
note;
sorry for the inconvinience caused! (the email add thingy)
what if the time stops ticking at 8:41 PM
OMG. -screams- i just changed my hotmail password minutes ago. den POOF. with a snap of my fingers IT slipped off my mind like that. wth la. ><"" friggin' ssstm. -bangs head on the wall- im thinking. thinking. and STILL thinking. but no i can NOT think of it. ahhhh!
today; went to pizza hut with anna and miaohui after sku today. sheri couldn't make it. cos she wasn't feeling well. food poisoning i think. (sheri if you're reading this: stomach..disorder? xDD) hahaha. we used up ALL the cheese. making our money worth? lol. ah what the heck. i keep thinking of my password. -starts banging head on the wall again- once i sign out from my beloved msn. POOOOF. i can no longer sign in again. crap. that's it. i have to create a new email address. O.o but i cant bear to. ayeee.
SOS. someone please help me.
what if the time stops ticking at 8:36 PM
last night;
i rushed through my homework. history ispl (leaving out the structured essay) and english letter writing. i turned my hp to silent mode. to rid all distractions. heavy eyed, i tried to keep myself awake. i was doing my work halfway. when i suddenly thought to myself. i thought about what i ranted and vented in the previous entry. i slapped myself in the forehead. what have i said? or rather, what have i typed? i regretted it. very much. i love my parents and my brother. and no i shouldnt have said all those despicable things. ayee. oh well. sorry mom. dad. kor. sorry )): wo zhi cuo le.
today;
it was another LONG day. in class. every few minutes i turned to look at the clock. checking out what time it was. but the clock hands. they dont seem to budge at all. the weather was humid enough to make everything worse. another boring day at school. oh well. =
after school i went to bugis with sheri to collect her $50 adidas voucher. it was raining like nobody's business. heh. but quite cool la. lame journey. x.x heh. using my hp we took quite a number of stupid lame LAME pictures. hur. according to mh. it's pizza day tmr. ohman! )): im logging off now. tata people. hee.
what if the time stops ticking at 8:34 PM
i need my breathing space. yes. i do. its suffocating me. please understand?
in school i feel suffocated. at home i feel suffocated. its nearly killing me. stop it people. stop it. can you not understand how annoying it is? maybe you dont. maybe to you, its known as PLEASURE. but you know what? zip it man. ZIP IT.
i cant STAND how you pressurize me. yes. to the very extent of me having horrifying HORRIFYING thoughts. YOU. you hog me like an eagle. i think you're driving me to the edge. i think when i cant take it i'll leap off the tall TALL cliff and end it all. i think i'll do just that. i cant stand your sarcasm. i cant stand the way you talk to me. i cant stand YOU. i cant.
im pressurized not only by one person. but many MANY people. this feeling. i can tell you. it SUCKS. yes it does. i dont give a hoot if anybody who'll leak this out reads this. cos its my bloody blog. i write whatever i want to.
i come home everyday. dead tired. all worn out. i have extra lessons or extra activities four out of five friggin' days. so i was saying, i come home. TIRED. i've got homework. assignments. and then there are CHORES waiting me. i only get a few PATHETIC hours to use the bloody computer. but you all have to NAG. and HOG. PIN ME DOWN like a bloody prey. ALL OF YOU. i have to GOBBLE DOWN my food everyday hoping to rush to the computer w/o my brother getting to it first. and when i ask him to let me use, "my sister is chasing me off" that's what he says. like bloody hell, he doesnt do that to me? ..... mom n dad. FOREVER using school work to attack me. if it makes you happy, IM STUPID and not as CLEVER AND BRIGHT as my DEAR BROTHER. are you satisfied? oh. no. wait. YOU TINK IM JUST PLAIN LAZY. im tired for goodness sake. I STUDY IN SCHOOL. I STUDY AFTER SCHOOL. i come home i have HOMEWORK. i dont study, and i just use the computer a little more than i should and ALL OF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. argh. damn.
and then there's SOMEONE ELSE. crap you man. LET ME BREATHE. i dont owe you a living. i have a life. i WANT my life. stop doing such stuff that oh-so-irritates me. ARGH. damn the world. damn YOU ALL.
note;i had to let it out people. i had to.
what if the time stops ticking at 7:07 PM
a boring BORING day at school. if not for my usual (urmm) self entertainment i'd probably die of stillness and boooredom. O.o math lessons are as usual a big BIG question mark. what about probabilty? why do we have to learn those crappy stuff? ._." and they say it helps us learn how to gamble? or whatever shit. = then there's stupid english, blah blah blah. the best was dnt. i think. ha. MODIFIED parallel bars. sounds and looks so simple. yet so complex ((: i like. lol. dont xiao kan my bars hor i tell you. x) it might help ppl learn how to walk w/o hurting themselves anymore kaaay. hur. ><"" oh well. chinese lessons was WAAAY boring, i had to start disturbing ppl. ha. what fun it was. -poke poke poke, whisper whisper whisper, pass messages- whoopee.
soup fairy or witch's brew? ha. after chemistry remedials anna, miaohui, siewling and i went to pizza hut at bukit batok to..lunch? (at 4? yeah.) heh. i dint eat. dint really have an appetite then. so i watched and did my corrections fer chem. wahaha. (guai leh) in between we were "making their money worth" by using up PLENTY of cheese, chilli, and definitely filling up their soup bowls with minestrone and mushroom soup. ofcos i had my fair share. i kept running around with soup bowls. o.O which explains the soup fairy thingy. (well, that's what they said what. lol.) refilling and refilling. pretty embarrassing with other ppl sitting around there looking at you fill up bowls of soup repetitively. the whole entire time i was sitting there. while the aircon dripped its leakings on me. but ah what the heck. just let it drip la? haha. sheri came by after her history 3-to-1 remedial and went back with me. heh. sprinkling cheese all over was..fun? that was my day.
last night;
it was. annoying. frustrating. i felt like dying. those three stupid problems were attacking me again. i tried feigning ignorance. but it all erupted. i laid in bed. i talked to myself. literally. and then i cried myself to sleep. inside of me. it was pain i felt. nothing else. a pathetic act you may think. cos that's how i view it as. but silence is all i shall keep. a smile and lots of laughter is what i plaster on day by day, night by night. i try as hard as i might. tonight when i sleep. i hope not to have a nightmare. but sweet SWEET dreams and a pleasant good night.
what if the time stops ticking at 8:19 PM
so i removed every single entry from before and here i am with an empty blog. okay. maybe just one entry now. a brand new one. maybe i can start all over again. just maybe. cos im tired you see. tired of so many things around me. the world is ugly. you keep hearing things you dont wanna hear. you keep seeing things you dont wanna see. ah. what the heck.
i dint get to update yesterday, so i'll do it now.
i was with my parents yesterday. went to visit my ahma. she's at the AMK rehab home. reason being, she had a bad fall, fractured her hip bone and had to undergo an operation. i watched her spoon feed herself with my mom's home cooked food. there i was drooling over the mouth watering food. it smelt good. and looked good. -stomach rumbles- i found her, cute? ha. yeah. after 16years. i realised how adorable she looked (:
we then made a beeline to junction8 for our dinner at cafe cartel. had chicken lasagna and this banana fudge shake. finger licking good i say. xD all the cheese and stuff. yum.
-end
today;
ahh. im dead hungry now. parents went to visit her again. my brother's in snooze mode. i've not had my lunch. i've not had my dinner. boo. earlier on in the morning at 9 i accompanied kyl n sher to have their hair cut. lol. stylo milo? O.o
its a boring BORING sunday. no entertainment. no life. -starts banging head on the wall- sku's starting again tmr. sheeesh. how time flies. i've not completed my history ispl. i've not fully completed my material list for my artefact. im pathetic. very. ugh.
NOTE: i sincerely apologise for the harsh things i said to some of you just now. i was in a really foul mood. couldnt really contain my emotions. so much, im had to explode. maybe if you'll let me calm down a little while i'll get better. im sorry again. greatest apologies.
