what if the time stops ticking at 10:22 PM
Dear Diary.
i am back. back to drain my sorrows. today in the morning. i handed in my resignation letter. and not long after, i got the treatment. i got myself mentally prepared that ugly things would happen. but i couldn't handle it i guess. my manager wasn't pleased without a doubt. she told me off a couple of times today.
she said (translated from chinese to english):
- dont think the office is like a playground. you can work and quit as and when you like.
- you dont decide when you want to quit. you can only quit when i say so.
- i got a whole lot of work for you to do, only when you finish then i can let you go.
the contract stated that when i had to give a week's notice before they let me go. so i'm not in the wrong right? they dont have the right to keep me back..right?
later part of the day, when i handed in a part of my work:
my face is always gloomy and all. i think everybody that knows me, knows that. but why the hell would i want to look all gleeful and happy when i hated it there. when i got told off in the wee hours of the morning. pffft. ANYWAY. she said she didn't like the look on my face. she said it's as though she owe me a living. said that my face was black. HELLO. try staring at hundreds of 13 jumbled digits for hours, see if you can bring out that inner smile anot la.
at that time. i felt really awful. felt like crying so bad. but i couldn't, at least not in front of her. i controlled ALOT, before i rushed off to the toilet, pulled out a big bunch of tissue paper and cover my face and cried 'into' it. the rest of the day, i had to bear with it also. which was horrible. after work, on the bus. i sat at the corner. and cried. hoping nobody saw. but i think the person beside me was aware of it la ><"
when i set foot in my house, i let it ALL out. and my mom got a shock when she say me crying at the maindoor. at first, my parents told me to not go tomorrow. then at dinner time. they talked to me further. saying this IS working life. this is what it's going to be like in the future. they said, to take it as a learning experience. initially, i was set on 'quitting' without notifying them. but while i showered. i thought over alot of things. i thought. all i had to endure was 5working days. and i'd get a few hundred bucks. and the long awaited freedom. but. the main idea was to overcome my weakness. to become a better and stronger person. since young. be it primary school, secondary or work. i always cry in the beginning. and i always run away from it. this time, i'm going to try not running away. but facing it. sure it's going to be tough. and definitely a decision i will regret. and i'll probably come home crying again tomorrow. but what gives? (: i'm going to give it a shot. my dear friends. and my beloved family. i need your support.
LOL.
