what if the time stops ticking at 4:19 PM
Dear Diary.
christmas day stinks. it's a boring boring day. the party last night which consisted of thirty nine peeps (and a hamster), turkey, honey baked ham, lasagne, potato salad, mushroom soup, fishballs, crispy chicken, beehoon, fruit salad, cocktail, wine, etc etc. did not interest me. nor hype me up one bit.
i think my displeasure could be seen distinctly this year. everytime i shaked hands with someone and smile, i forced my mouth open, bearing my teeth in a very VERY fake manner, wished them Merry Christmas and quickly moved on to the next person hoping i could get it over and done with and head back to the computer. i got pissed with myself, for being such a stuck up jerk. 'cause if someone did that to me i'll probably be cursing at him/her. HA!
almost everybody looked as if they were enjoying themselves and had this let-us-do-this-again-next-year look. kill me somebody. i seriously have a problem with, myself. why is it that i find it so hard to start a conversation, to really smile sincerely, to plain enjoy myself and have fun.
i sat here last night. and i'm sitting here now. thinking what an bore i am. and have absolutely no purpose in life. i wake up every morning, go through the same old routine. wash up, breakfast, laze around the house, do housework. if not, i go out when my friends ask me to. when i use the computer, i see if my anime(s) is/are being released. i browse through people's blogs. i chat with people who chat with me. which is a bare minimum. surf the net aimlessly. i spend most of my time staring at the screen actually. when i'm in the mood, i do a little designing. but usually end up clicking the big X at the top right hand corner of the screen. oh yes! how can i miss out blogging. typing hundreds and hundreds of words on how my life totally sucks. yet again indulging in self pity. pathetic.
i actually want to get OUT of the house now. but i cant really be bothered to ask people out. or rather, i dont know who i can ask to chill with me on this lazy, lazy day. what's more, i'd have to go through the whole trouble of deciding where to go, what time to meet, what to wear, blah. so i guess i'll end up joining my parents this Christmas to god knows where.
have a
