what if the time stops ticking at 12:07 AM
okay. my blog date here says Sunday. but its actually meant to be a Saturday entry. anyhow. i went to one of my aunt's house for some social gathering which i'm so totally NOT psyched about. it was some pot-luck thing. fried japanese chicken, satay, kuey pie tee (some crust with popiah filling, prawn, egg and parsley, Mediterranean salad (more like fruit salad) and fried rice/noodle. for dessert we had a choice of either durian or D.I.Y ice kachang. it was damn boring la. before we left home, i told mom going there was a total waste of my time and she said to her it's just a form of passing time. after our meal; my mom, brother & i went to sit in in the living room, where they had NO tv. BOLD EXCLAIMATION MARKS!! we just sat there and rot, literally. then i looked over to my mom and said is this what you call passing time? hur.
on our way home, we drove through geylang. haa (: my first time seeing prostitutes. omg la? their bosoms were like half bulging out. their skirts were waaaay short. and they were standing by the roadside trying to get attention from the men, i presume.
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one of the taggers wrote ;
Well, eveyone got their own life to lead and it is a tad selfish to ask others to put their life on hold just to hear your problems.
am i really being selfish? i thought friends would lend you their listening ears, their shoulders to cry on, their arms for a nice warm hug,
then the tagger said ;
If you would be a bit more trusting and less cynical, perhaps you can see the comfort you are looking for. The 2nd scene is just too familiar to me.
trust people more? i've tried. but people abuse that trust. i'm tired of this deceit. less cynical? it flows in my blood, i guess.
and the last thing the tagger typed ;
I think the most you can do it to avoid such situation and you'd be fine =/
let's see. by avoiding such situations, i must be an outcast/anti-social person (which i partly am already) AKA stop going out with anyone to prevent any conversations from taking place?
yes, i absolutely abhor myself for making my own life miserable/difficult. yes, i indulge in self-pity. yes, i always look at things with a skeptical view. yes, i am critical towards myself. and yes, hate myself for all that.
dear diary, i'm sorry for grumbling and complaining all the time ):
