Thursday, July 13, 2006what if the time stops ticking at 8:36 PM
she said
"you know rachel, dont always think you're alone. 'cause im here." i had the urge to cry again. flashing in your head must be,
rach's such a crybaby. i cant help it, really. but anyway, i held back those tears. i had to be strong.
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i felt pathetic, the whole of today. as a matter of fact, every single day. school ended at about 145pm plus, minus. and my workshop only begun at 230pm. i walked about for approximately 5minutes, then decided to go up to class. 'cause walking about made me look like a fool. climbed up the multiple flight of stairs. as i approached my classroom. i heard laughter. the windows and door were shut tight. so i made a U-turn and went to sit on the bench.
took my cellphone out of my bag, checked the time. another 30 minutes. crap.
i'll survive, i always do. that's what i thought. i fiddled with my phone, played a couple of games, looked through some messages and stared into thin air, whilst the breeze brushed across my face. slowly, i made my way down to the computer lab, where the workshop was held.
i dread entering that lab, clustered with
strangers. i feel no different from an alien from outer space there. they poke fun of me saying, "girl, you go to the wrong class ar?" / "who are you?" / "how come you're in our class?" then there's this boy, acting like a total buffoon. trying to humour the class by impersonating the teacher, which i found terribly annoying. i would give him a tight slap if i had the guts.
an hour and a half passed. alas, the workshop was over. but wait. there's still two more weeks to go. UGH! -bangs head on the wall-
___________________
i dont want to be the middle-man.
i dont want to be placed in such a difficult position.
but i also dont want to see you all unhappy.
i want things to go back like how it used to be.
someone once said that changes are good.
i on the otherhand, beg to differ.