Monday, June 26, 2006
what if the time stops ticking at 9:20 PM

ka-boom! the volcano erupted today. remember i once said that if i accumulate the lousy LOUSY feelings for too long, it'll erupt one day and the tears will fall? (or something like that)

the whole day, i was pretty much in the doldrums. dint feel like talking much at all. face, black like the sky now. i wanted to run home and cover my head with the pillow (not exactly run la). lessons were draggy like anything.

then came dnt lessons. where we had to resume the whole artefact thing. got my copper pipe from the 'inner' workshop and reduced its length to 195 centimetres. O.o all i'm left with now is bending the bar, attaching this rubbery mat to my base, slicing to two wooden cylindrical objects, attaching the bar to the wooden thing, attaching a hook, then the spring and i'm done. they're all pretty simple procedures, of course help from those 'handy-man' is needed. but as usual, i approached the 'handy-man' with no respond or help given at all. my mood was bad enough, and he had to make it worse. mr tan was nagging at me again. regarding not doing anything. so i defended myself la. i said nobody want to help me cut my base and bend my bar what. then what you want me to do? also cannot do anything. zzz. i had to let it out.
* striked out because un-important

i went back into the workshop. and sat there, watching anna & mh fiddle with her artefact. the tears were then filling up. i walked out of the room. about a metre away from the workshop, i let it all out. i tried containing it within me, but i guess i failed. or, maybe i had alrdy seen this coming my way?

i think what really triggered them was, negligence. my previous msn nick was: have you ever been alone in a crowded room? i picture myself in this really HUGE room, lost. so big, i cant even see the other end. packed with tens, hundreds, thousands of people i know. unable to reach out to them. i speak, but nobody hears me. everyone walks, bumping into me. there's like a barrier surrounding me.

certain people are curious as to how come i got all teary and red in the eyes/nose. dnt, was what i told one of my friend. but that was a trigger, as i said earlier. the main reason? lots. which i do not wish to elaborate on.

enough said. i've got work to complete and it's 915pm alrdy. i've scrapped through the long day today, but tomorrow is a longer day. lame'ol CLB lessons. pffft.