what if the time stops ticking at 9:29 PM
LANGUAGEissues.
so WHAT if i'm english educated. so WHAT if i'm brought up speaking only ENGLISH (and barely chinese) in my family. so WHAT if sometimes i do well in my english. so WHAT?!
then there's like EXPECTATIONS from you guys. if i dont do well. people will go like. that's impossible. HELLO? do i look like a straight-As-student- from the Oxford University? NO! i make FLAWS people. FLAWS. just like ANYONE else. and if i do fair well in it. you say im weird. and what? haolian????
-slapsownforeheadhard- i dint even say a thing you buffalo!
what's life when every english paper you sit for, is filled with PRESSURE. having stinking thoughts running in and out of your mind. like. if i do badly. people will start mocking at me. and be challenged? i hate competitions. i hate it. let's be frank here. people, they THINK my english is relatively good. but i tell them time and AGAIN that NO. MY ENGLISH IS NOT GOOD. why wont it get INTO your peabrain?! i call myself a borderline-case. wobbling on this thin thin line. push me a little to the left, i pass. push me a little to the right, i fail.
and THEN there's something called; chinese. rachel's greatest fear. no thanks to unwanted remarks given off by people. yes. im chinese. and i ought to be able to speak and write chinese. i CAN speak and write chinese. just that im NOT GOOD at it. i suck at it. there, i've said it. i've admitted it. but does it stop there? apparently NOT. scoff. scoff at me all you want. argh. im tired of it. years and years of all this shit. 'rachel! speak chinese!' is there a LAW saying i HAVE to speak chinese 24/7? no i dont think so. so get your butt out of my face. i speak chinese and people go like WOW. like smth went wrong there. and all the sacarsm starts gushing right at me.
i think all of your brains are stereotyped with the fact that rachel is suppose to excel in english and totally suck at chinese. and i think im going to stop here. so much to say, so little time.
