what if the time stops ticking at 8:21 PM
fear inside-out. that's what i feel when i'm with him. it just leaks out of me like that. its like evry step i take towards him, i'm afraid he'd turn around to bite. but i press on and not give up. he's nice at times. overprotective at times. with him being overprotective. means he gets nasty and mean sometimes. but. it all shows sign of love. is that not right? i'm sure he loves me. like how i love him. just that, i dont show it.
so when i told him about classmate who borrowed my file and messed everything up. he flared up. oh yes he did. in my mind i was thinking. is he being plain overreative. or is that care and concern? a dab of uneasiness. a dab of happiness. ((:
i try to relax a little more, each time, bit by bit. hoping one day i can talk to him about almost anything just like how i talk to my mom. yes. that man. he's my father.
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so anyway. i mentioned earlier that a classmate messed up my file right? it happened yesterday. which PISSED ME OFF. initially, i did NOT want to lend him my chemistry file. but he pleaded and pleaded. and as usual, i got a little soft hearted. (damn that) ended up lending him my file. so about a day or two later, he returns me my file. i dint open to check my file there and then. but at home, i dont know what made me open my file to check. i gasped. inside my file, pieces and pieces of worksheets were MISSING. not only that, the stapled edges of my worksheets were torn apart. some of them were not stapled back. but those stapled ones were all jumbled up. for e.g. topic1 stapled to topic 2's answer sheet. topic 1's answer sheet stapled to common test paper. and it goes ON. it made me blow my top. i was in my room hopping mad. i wish i could yell at him. but i had to bear with it.
until this morning in school. ARGH. i stormed into class and told him off. he seemed pretty cool about it. then i told him to get back ALL my worksheets by recess. he said okay. but but BUT. when recess's over. he returns to class. EMPTY HANDED. zzzz. so i asked him where the worksheets were and he went like, oh ya hor.
slap me in the face somebody! tell me i was a fool. a bloody fool. a stupid fool. a FOOL to have lent him my file. this is going to be the LAST time he's gonna lay his hands on my file. there's not going to be a next time.
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ahh! MYE resumes tomorrow. lol. social studies. one subject which requires lots of skills and memorising. (think. memorising. and short term memory..) AHH. hahaha. nevermind. i'll get those facts and notes in my brain and dare say out loud that, "hey! i have contextual knowledge!" hurhur. cold. i know. ((:
toodles people. time to hit the books. all the best and best of luck to one and all! -grins-
